Thursday, March 29, 2007
U.S. Military Command? Not Very Commendable
via The Swamp
“It makes no sense for politicians in Washington DC to be dictating arbitrary timelines for military commanders in a war zone 6,000 miles away." -- George Bush, recently to some Texas cattlemen disgruntled over not getting their fair share of this year's budget pork.
But it does make sense, Mr. Master-and-Commander President Bush, for politicians in Washington DC to be pressuring your hand from less than six miles, right in DC itself, to help you steer a different course so that sub-commanders under you may know when and how to adjust. That is, unless those generals and commanders are the ones with the helm in hand -- sans you, Sir.
Either way, Americans have been ill-served by the more 'elite' commanders that play the toady for you, Master George. Never mind four years of total waste and squandered momentum, if it ever was present at all. The way your top military leadership have behaved during one or another of the various scandals -- as Pat Tillman's, and families of the Walter Reid fiasco attest to -- has been cowardly childish, irresponsible and completely dishonorable.
Has honor been erased from West Point credes? Can our current crop of West Point big-brassers be labelled as 'Neo-South Park Generals'? Has West Point gone totally south and in need of a good flushin' out down ol' Potomac's way?
We have the means. It's time for the civilians to take over.
“It makes no sense for politicians in Washington DC to be dictating arbitrary timelines for military commanders in a war zone 6,000 miles away." -- George Bush, recently to some Texas cattlemen disgruntled over not getting their fair share of this year's budget pork.
But it does make sense, Mr. Master-and-Commander President Bush, for politicians in Washington DC to be pressuring your hand from less than six miles, right in DC itself, to help you steer a different course so that sub-commanders under you may know when and how to adjust. That is, unless those generals and commanders are the ones with the helm in hand -- sans you, Sir.
Either way, Americans have been ill-served by the more 'elite' commanders that play the toady for you, Master George. Never mind four years of total waste and squandered momentum, if it ever was present at all. The way your top military leadership have behaved during one or another of the various scandals -- as Pat Tillman's, and families of the Walter Reid fiasco attest to -- has been cowardly childish, irresponsible and completely dishonorable.
Has honor been erased from West Point credes? Can our current crop of West Point big-brassers be labelled as 'Neo-South Park Generals'? Has West Point gone totally south and in need of a good flushin' out down ol' Potomac's way?
We have the means. It's time for the civilians to take over.
Labels: Bush, military brass, tarnished brass, U.S. Military
Friday, March 09, 2007
Rove Strikes New "Legacy Template" for Bush Two-bit Token
via Salon.com
To commemorate the attempted inflation of George Bush's legacy along with the diminished value of American 'currency' -- in all aspects, around and through the world -- Karl Rove, through a secret signing statement, has contracted a private Ohio coin dealer to take over portions of U.S. minting operations so that a special two-bit, "precious alloy token" can be circulated within limited spheres of vanishing legates now residing somewhere in a backwater around the North and South Carolinian border. Confeds in arms forever.
Upon this trial run of what some numismatically-keen political experts perceive as the same highly corrosive run of limited denomination coinage typically pressed by The White House, it was suggested by Rove that "In God We Trust" be double-struck circumferentially on the tokens' edges to make certain to the remaining faithful that a clear vision to Bush's future is in the offering.
To commemorate the attempted inflation of George Bush's legacy along with the diminished value of American 'currency' -- in all aspects, around and through the world -- Karl Rove, through a secret signing statement, has contracted a private Ohio coin dealer to take over portions of U.S. minting operations so that a special two-bit, "precious alloy token" can be circulated within limited spheres of vanishing legates now residing somewhere in a backwater around the North and South Carolinian border. Confeds in arms forever.
Upon this trial run of what some numismatically-keen political experts perceive as the same highly corrosive run of limited denomination coinage typically pressed by The White House, it was suggested by Rove that "In God We Trust" be double-struck circumferentially on the tokens' edges to make certain to the remaining faithful that a clear vision to Bush's future is in the offering.
Labels: Bush, numismatics, spooferisms
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Bush's Importance on Being Delusional
via The Plain Dealer
How increasingly isolated our president must be to exhibit the recent spate of delusional behaviors eminating from his high seat somewhere in a bunker built lower than the one just built to house his stool. George the Grand, giving the U.S. grand mal siezures by his processes and deliverences since 2001.
Rudy Giuliani must have really set off Bush's penchant for princely permutations when he compared the President to Honest Abe, the Rail Splitter. First of all, clearin' Texas tumbleweeds ain't splittin' rails in In-dee-an-ee -- or Kentucky or Illinois, for that matter.
Heck, some Lincoln cabinet members even referred to Abe as "the original ape". Maybe we need to think of Bush as 'the original chimp'.
Then came the delusion to 'the original George W.' -- you know, the cherry-pickin' W now long deceased with a D.C. after his name -- in some sort of weird, reducted Washington whitewash.
Now comes the delusive character Bush's newest, messaged machination that Britain's troop pull-out is a sure sign of his policy's success in Iraq. What, now Pyrrhus?
How increasingly isolated our president must be to exhibit the recent spate of delusional behaviors eminating from his high seat somewhere in a bunker built lower than the one just built to house his stool. George the Grand, giving the U.S. grand mal siezures by his processes and deliverences since 2001.
Rudy Giuliani must have really set off Bush's penchant for princely permutations when he compared the President to Honest Abe, the Rail Splitter. First of all, clearin' Texas tumbleweeds ain't splittin' rails in In-dee-an-ee -- or Kentucky or Illinois, for that matter.
Heck, some Lincoln cabinet members even referred to Abe as "the original ape". Maybe we need to think of Bush as 'the original chimp'.
Then came the delusion to 'the original George W.' -- you know, the cherry-pickin' W now long deceased with a D.C. after his name -- in some sort of weird, reducted Washington whitewash.
Now comes the delusive character Bush's newest, messaged machination that Britain's troop pull-out is a sure sign of his policy's success in Iraq. What, now Pyrrhus?
Labels: Bush, policy failures, war propaganda
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Last Bush Neuron Saved by Stem Cell Funds!
In a frantic effort to save the last withering neuron last seen floating somewhere in a cavity where the Commander-in-Chief's pons used to reside, Karl Rove, given the legal go-ahead by Generalisimo Gonzalez through a flimsy signing statement fully endorsed by dead-ending supporters, established a top secret Pentagon account -- hidden, always hidden from his social conservative base -- to fund emergency embryonic stem cell research focused to attain the specific therapeutic benefits for Bush's neuron.
Labels: Bush, science news, stem cells
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Giuliani Channels Old Abe in Visions of Bush
Operating in a universe unknown -- possibly parallel but at the same time far, far away -- Rudy Giuliani, in a bid to court GOP conservatives to his chiefly cause by demonstrating delusional thoughts similar to those attending Sunday charismatic services as well as in Pat Robertson's daily TV Jesus briefing, compared Bush's Iraq Wars vision and predicament to those faced by Abraham Lincoln during America's Civil War. His delusions occured at New Hamphire's last standing GOP meeting hall.
A little scrutiny and honor's in order when one so easily throws Honest Abe's hat in with George Bush's. Let's detail the similarities or parallels, if you will, between the two great commanders and uniters:
One was integral in the formation of the GOP with the other presiding over its destruction.
One led troops in The Blackhawk War, the other in Blackhawk Down.
One is so incredibly removed from the people, bunkered down below in the bowels of D.C. with the vice-commander, telling those who disagree with him to go eff themselves while trying to brew the right bromide to keep America's stomach from vomiting in projectile fashion when they view Iraq's carcass and Iran's soon-to-be blood-stained carpets.. The other kept an open office to all citizens, both humble and powerful alike, and frequently stated his deepest desire to continue this practice to those near that tried to persuade him otherwise.
One waged war once attacked. The other continues to decide to be the attacker for the sake of waging war.
One came from legendary humble beginnings and was completely self-made. From an early age he was given increasing responsibilities to reward his trustworthiness and fair dealings. The other's daddy was the CIA's director, then President and easily placed his son in various positions of power -- where the son failed in all such placements and responsibilities.
Then there's that "Honest" moniker to contend with.
There is one, true similarity between the two Presidents that Giuliani should have shed light on in order for his analogy to fit at all: Both Presidents had miserable, unpopular drunks for Veeps.
A little scrutiny and honor's in order when one so easily throws Honest Abe's hat in with George Bush's. Let's detail the similarities or parallels, if you will, between the two great commanders and uniters:
One was integral in the formation of the GOP with the other presiding over its destruction.
One led troops in The Blackhawk War, the other in Blackhawk Down.
One is so incredibly removed from the people, bunkered down below in the bowels of D.C. with the vice-commander, telling those who disagree with him to go eff themselves while trying to brew the right bromide to keep America's stomach from vomiting in projectile fashion when they view Iraq's carcass and Iran's soon-to-be blood-stained carpets.. The other kept an open office to all citizens, both humble and powerful alike, and frequently stated his deepest desire to continue this practice to those near that tried to persuade him otherwise.
One waged war once attacked. The other continues to decide to be the attacker for the sake of waging war.
One came from legendary humble beginnings and was completely self-made. From an early age he was given increasing responsibilities to reward his trustworthiness and fair dealings. The other's daddy was the CIA's director, then President and easily placed his son in various positions of power -- where the son failed in all such placements and responsibilities.
Then there's that "Honest" moniker to contend with.
There is one, true similarity between the two Presidents that Giuliani should have shed light on in order for his analogy to fit at all: Both Presidents had miserable, unpopular drunks for Veeps.
Labels: Bush, Iran, Iraq, panderers, Rudy Giuliani
Friday, February 09, 2007
Bush Recieves Key to Baghdad After Hatchet "Benchmarks" Job
After hacking away at too much of everything -- lives, treasures, time, strategic advantage, good-will, etc. -- George Bush has finally reached his first benchmark in the war on terrorism. He can now claim that the Green Zone is secure. Huzzah!
Because of this long-awaited achievement, the City of Baghdad will present to George a backdoor key to Sadr City! This will fit nicely into the lock to the small closet he and his advisers huddle in to make sure his legacy leaves as a 'victory war President'.
A very nice pay-off, indeed.
And now the American citizenry has been invited to gaze once again on George Bush's Iraqi handiwork, straight from the elbow of the master. This shop class flunky has finally notched a set of way uberdue, ill-defined and unrealistic "benchmarks" that Iraqis will supposedly follow to curry military favors of The Pentagon for militia-of-the-week payouts to pals.
All of this just to form a last chance of any consensus out a dwindled and played out base -- as well as an ass extricating measure.
(On a side note, Bob Gates says that "...we are not planning for a war with Iran." Those college deans can lie with the best of 'em.)
Because of this long-awaited achievement, the City of Baghdad will present to George a backdoor key to Sadr City! This will fit nicely into the lock to the small closet he and his advisers huddle in to make sure his legacy leaves as a 'victory war President'.
A very nice pay-off, indeed.
And now the American citizenry has been invited to gaze once again on George Bush's Iraqi handiwork, straight from the elbow of the master. This shop class flunky has finally notched a set of way uberdue, ill-defined and unrealistic "benchmarks" that Iraqis will supposedly follow to curry military favors of The Pentagon for militia-of-the-week payouts to pals.
All of this just to form a last chance of any consensus out a dwindled and played out base -- as well as an ass extricating measure.
(On a side note, Bob Gates says that "...we are not planning for a war with Iran." Those college deans can lie with the best of 'em.)
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Bush's "Sprint to Finish" Portends Hamstrung Capabilities
With two short years left in his enfeebled presidency, George Bush has decided that he will "sprint to the finish" in order to finish off what's left of U.S. treasures. No one knows what his "finish" will be. Is it another line out of his terrorist playbook? Or, could it possibly be some secret, hidden tape of him and Condi sneaking a quickie in his underground bunker?
Some things are certain as Bush attempts to kick it up a notch. For one, our constitution will be assaulted further as he tries to grab more wartime, dictatorial powers ginned up by his actions in the Middle East. But this will probably lead to Bush's pulling up lame somewhere around the thirty-meter mark during his race to imperial glory. A big tumble should follow due to subsequent knee-jerking from crashing into too many hurdles. Then there's always the cinder rash from the burn part of crash-and-burn.
Please pass the Ben-Gay.
Some things are certain as Bush attempts to kick it up a notch. For one, our constitution will be assaulted further as he tries to grab more wartime, dictatorial powers ginned up by his actions in the Middle East. But this will probably lead to Bush's pulling up lame somewhere around the thirty-meter mark during his race to imperial glory. A big tumble should follow due to subsequent knee-jerking from crashing into too many hurdles. Then there's always the cinder rash from the burn part of crash-and-burn.
Please pass the Ben-Gay.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Bush Impressed by Iraqi Call-up of A-10 Warthogs
After an initial rout of American-trained, multi-billion dollar-backed Iraqi forces by wholly insane, Najafian apocalyptics who shared a group vision of joining Pastor John Hagee's end-of-the-world crusade, President George Bush, an ironic devotee of Hagee's delphic Doomsday deliveries declared that, "The Iraqis are beginning to show me something" after Iraqi forces ran away to hide while calling in Warthog 30 mm Gatling guns to stifle the holy belligerents.
Overall, an impressive show of pressing through political ends by miltary means. Very impressive, Mr. Bush. Although, it must be hard to staff and train a competent Iraqi army when anyone worthwhile for your cause has either been killed or run out of the country.
Overall, an impressive show of pressing through political ends by miltary means. Very impressive, Mr. Bush. Although, it must be hard to staff and train a competent Iraqi army when anyone worthwhile for your cause has either been killed or run out of the country.
Labels: Bush, Iraq, religious right, Round Heads
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Iran to Backfill Bush's $1 Trillion Hole
Someone has to take over the responsibility for the soon-to-be one-trillion dollar Iraqi power vacuum created by George Bush's war machination. Iran looks to be the sweep since it's right next door and Bush has done such a fine job of calculation along with the depletion of our force capabilities.
What's George's brand, anyway? Is his vac an Oreck or a wreck? It's probably a wreck from all the inside mess created while playing war.
What's George's brand, anyway? Is his vac an Oreck or a wreck? It's probably a wreck from all the inside mess created while playing war.
Labels: Bush, Iran, Iraq, Joint Chiefs, policy failures, Rumsfeld, U.S. Military
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Breaking Headlines of Today's Science: Bush Power Surge Edition
Beltway Production of Conventional Manifold Densities in a Bose-Einstein Condensate Leading to Complete Corporeal Stasis and Laminar Thinking
-- Science and Wealth with Key to the Grifters, March, 2007
-- Science and Wealth with Key to the Grifters, March, 2007
Labels: Bush, Iraq, Round Heads
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Postcards from The Kremlin
In an amteurish attempt at out-pooty-pootin' Putin, George Bush, in another infamous signing statement no doubt boldly stroked but poorly spelled, has decided it's within his dictates to pry that last piece of postalic privacy away from your rightful hands and into his demi-tsar-stained mitts for his perusal. Mitts, mind you, that have never been in a real scrape.
And there's the rub. Since he has never had to truly mix it up, George knows he would get an out-and-out, ole-timey butt-kickin' by his rival, Pooty, if such a grudge match were to take place. Unfortunately -- and at the receiving end of Bush's mal-machismotic, if not now wholly Katerinic complexity -- Americans get hit with the corporality of it along with cash payments due on delivery.
With privacy returned to sender and supposed sacred rights now lumped in with the junk-mailings, it shouldn't suprise people if the term 'going postal' takes new meaning.
And there's the rub. Since he has never had to truly mix it up, George knows he would get an out-and-out, ole-timey butt-kickin' by his rival, Pooty, if such a grudge match were to take place. Unfortunately -- and at the receiving end of Bush's mal-machismotic, if not now wholly Katerinic complexity -- Americans get hit with the corporality of it along with cash payments due on delivery.
With privacy returned to sender and supposed sacred rights now lumped in with the junk-mailings, it shouldn't suprise people if the term 'going postal' takes new meaning.
Labels: Bush, despotisions
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Bush to Bus Battalions from Biergarten to Baghdad
So much for NATO. George Bush has again decided to act alone, futher isolating his administration from the American people and past allies, in a futile attempt to extricate the sling from his ass with at least one last Iraqi surge lasting anywhere from three months to three decades. All of this just to retire him with a victory tour similar to last week's fairyland White House send-off for his buddy-in-arm-in-arms, Rumsfeld The Dodderer.
To surge enough to smooth his basest base of theomilitarians and right-winged evangelicals, Bush'll have to gather enough surge material from somewhere. That somewhere? Germany.
Germany's the perfect place to shuffle troops from since we haven't any more friends in that region -- just ask the Poles, one of our closest, quickly exiting 'coalition partners' in Iraq. Heck, who needs Europe when Bush has the most robust U.S. generals that his narrow ideology provides for his dictates.
By using troops from Germany for the so-called surge, Bush can immediately attenuate his army's supply lines and leave it even more strung out than before. This move would finally prove Bush's inherent lack of strategic command, both of his army and as the supposed leader of the free world. This would also suitably fit his style as a non-supplier.
Luckily, Bush's surge is only a temporary matter -- a stop-gap, if you will -- before he finds 70,000 more dupes to serve him.
To surge enough to smooth his basest base of theomilitarians and right-winged evangelicals, Bush'll have to gather enough surge material from somewhere. That somewhere? Germany.
Germany's the perfect place to shuffle troops from since we haven't any more friends in that region -- just ask the Poles, one of our closest, quickly exiting 'coalition partners' in Iraq. Heck, who needs Europe when Bush has the most robust U.S. generals that his narrow ideology provides for his dictates.
By using troops from Germany for the so-called surge, Bush can immediately attenuate his army's supply lines and leave it even more strung out than before. This move would finally prove Bush's inherent lack of strategic command, both of his army and as the supposed leader of the free world. This would also suitably fit his style as a non-supplier.
Luckily, Bush's surge is only a temporary matter -- a stop-gap, if you will -- before he finds 70,000 more dupes to serve him.
Labels: Bush, flexibility, Iraq, policy failures
Friday, December 15, 2006
Abe Linkum's Quote of the Week, #3
Abraham Lincoln, as a congressman and speaking on James Polk's invasion of Mexico:
"I more than suspect already that he is deeply concious of being in the wrong; that he feels the blood of this war, like the blood of Abel, is crying to heaven against him; that originally having some strong motive...to involve the two countries in a war, and trusting to escape scrutiny by fixing the public gaze upon the exceeding brightness of military glory...he plunged into it and has swept on and on, till, disappointed in his calculation...he now finds himself he knows not where....His mind, tasked beyond its power, is running hither and thither, like some tortured creature on a burning surface, finding no position on which it can settle down and be at ease....He is a bewildered, confounded, and miserably perplexed man. God grant he may be able to show there is not something about his conscience more painful than all his mental perplexity!"
"I more than suspect already that he is deeply concious of being in the wrong; that he feels the blood of this war, like the blood of Abel, is crying to heaven against him; that originally having some strong motive...to involve the two countries in a war, and trusting to escape scrutiny by fixing the public gaze upon the exceeding brightness of military glory...he plunged into it and has swept on and on, till, disappointed in his calculation...he now finds himself he knows not where....His mind, tasked beyond its power, is running hither and thither, like some tortured creature on a burning surface, finding no position on which it can settle down and be at ease....He is a bewildered, confounded, and miserably perplexed man. God grant he may be able to show there is not something about his conscience more painful than all his mental perplexity!"
Labels: Bush, Iraq, Joint Chiefs, Lincoln, quotes, Round Heads
Monday, November 20, 2006
Blair Balks, Bond Bombs, Bush Blocks Report
Since Blair has balked and Bush blocks reports to all allies, all the time and especially close ones like Blair now that the last is no more -- just for Bush Republican punk purposes -- post-colonialism gets boxed at the office and shipped to Bollywood in James Bond Does Dehli and Retires.
Labels: Bush, Iraq, James Bond, Tony Blair
Monday, November 13, 2006
'Robust Nuance': The New GOP Playbook
Josh Bolten, sidekick for the Bush/Cheney ventriloquism act, was on ABC's This Week last week explaining the GOP strategy for limiting success both here and abroad. Bolton, with a more pursed-lipped approach than the side-of-mouth technique of his string pullers, continued the persistent babel one would expect from a crew that's attempting to salvage a sinking presidency in a bid to regain a dialogue, in any direction, by a "robust" and "nuanced" approach.
By bringing in this new 'robust nuance' era, the Bush team believes they can scramble enough to pick up their sticks after splintering mightily mid-term -- with the split being the casting away of perceived evils like moderate Republicans by the hard, self-righteous right that's represented by such propaganda sprites as SRN/Townhall.com and multi-megadollar churches who's altar calls have become the call for the offering instead of ministry. (Could this be a peculiarly Republican means of worship?)
Bush and Cheney's thinking, mouthed by Bolten, is that by hopefully being once again thought of as "robust", they can somehow be reborn on their right. And by trying to give the impression that they're "nuanced" by using the word in speech, they will be seen so by fed-up moderates.
Thus 'robust nuance'.
By bringing in this new 'robust nuance' era, the Bush team believes they can scramble enough to pick up their sticks after splintering mightily mid-term -- with the split being the casting away of perceived evils like moderate Republicans by the hard, self-righteous right that's represented by such propaganda sprites as SRN/Townhall.com and multi-megadollar churches who's altar calls have become the call for the offering instead of ministry. (Could this be a peculiarly Republican means of worship?)
Bush and Cheney's thinking, mouthed by Bolten, is that by hopefully being once again thought of as "robust", they can somehow be reborn on their right. And by trying to give the impression that they're "nuanced" by using the word in speech, they will be seen so by fed-up moderates.
Thus 'robust nuance'.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Harriet Miers Finds "Gainful Employment"
After Bush's smashing mid-term defeat and following a grimaced press conference where he was seen swallowing a large, morning-after pill prescribed by the American public after being screwed too hard and long by his administration, Harriet Miers, Bush's extra-special counsel, is now declared as "gainfully employed" by all typical D.C. concerns.
Labels: Bush, Harriet Miers, oversight, subpoenas
Saturday, November 04, 2006
What Ted Haggard May Have Been Searching For
Don't know if it's true, but it's out there in a George Bush Google blog search.
Labels: blogging, Bush, dildos, Ted Haggard
Friday, November 03, 2006
Bush's 'Common Sense' Makes Clausewitz Cringe
George Bush, along with those close to him, has made a career of stating his 'common sense' approach in dealing with the chaos in Iraq. His sense is that we need to "stay the course" even as that road becomes demolished and full of IED craters that lead our armed forces into the immobile, aflexible position they now find themselves.
Carl von Clausewitz, the great military theorist, had some strong words for commanders that use their ideas of 'common sense' to justify failed military theory and its practice in the field. Bush's failed theory and its subsequent practice by Donald Rumsfeld is seen by Clausewitz as defying common sense in that military theory "needs intelligent treatment to make it conform to action, and to end the absurd difference between theory and practice that unreasonable theories have so often evoked. That difference, which defies common sense, has often been used as a pretext by limited and ignorant minds to justify their congenital incompetence." (On War, Book Two, Chapter Two)
Abe couldn't have said it better.
Carl von Clausewitz, the great military theorist, had some strong words for commanders that use their ideas of 'common sense' to justify failed military theory and its practice in the field. Bush's failed theory and its subsequent practice by Donald Rumsfeld is seen by Clausewitz as defying common sense in that military theory "needs intelligent treatment to make it conform to action, and to end the absurd difference between theory and practice that unreasonable theories have so often evoked. That difference, which defies common sense, has often been used as a pretext by limited and ignorant minds to justify their congenital incompetence." (On War, Book Two, Chapter Two)
Abe couldn't have said it better.
Labels: Bush, common sense, Iraq, policy failures
The Answer to George Bush's Eye-plank Growth Problem
On Tuesday, Abe Linkum presented a problem for readers to solve that calculates the growth rate of the plank in George Bush's eye as the religious right closes in on Ground Zero. Since nobody came up with the correct answer, no one receives the autographed picture of Abe.
Here is the answer key along with the original schematic --
Using the Pythagorean Theorem and differentiating with respect to time:
w^2 + p^2 = b^2 = 400
2w(dw/dt) + 2p(dp/dt) = 0
w(dw/dt) + p(dp/dt) = 0
Now, solve for 'dp/dt' given that dw/dt = -30 ft/s, w = 1 and p = sq.root of 399 by the Pythagorean Theorem:
1(-30) + (sq.root of 399)(dp/dt) = 0
So, dp/dt = 30/(sq.root of 399) or approximately 1.5 ft/s. That means that the plank in George Bush's eye is growing at this rate when the religious right is 1 ft. away from George Bush's vision.
Here is the answer key along with the original schematic --
Using the Pythagorean Theorem and differentiating with respect to time:
w^2 + p^2 = b^2 = 400
2w(dw/dt) + 2p(dp/dt) = 0
w(dw/dt) + p(dp/dt) = 0
Now, solve for 'dp/dt' given that dw/dt = -30 ft/s, w = 1 and p = sq.root of 399 by the Pythagorean Theorem:
1(-30) + (sq.root of 399)(dp/dt) = 0
So, dp/dt = 30/(sq.root of 399) or approximately 1.5 ft/s. That means that the plank in George Bush's eye is growing at this rate when the religious right is 1 ft. away from George Bush's vision.
Labels: Bush, religious right, Ted Haggard
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Calculate the Growth Rate of George Bush's Eye-plank!
Question -- A telescoping plank that's currently 15 ft. high is buried in George Bush's eye at Ground Zero. It's supported by a 20 ft. brace that's being pushed at its base by the religious right toward Ground Zero at a rate of 30 ft/sec:
How fast is the plank growing when the religious right gets within 1 ft. of Bush's eye?
The first person who answers correctly receives an autographed picture of Abe Linkum via e-mail! Check in at Abe Linkum this Friday to view the key to this problem's exciting answer!
How fast is the plank growing when the religious right gets within 1 ft. of Bush's eye?The first person who answers correctly receives an autographed picture of Abe Linkum via e-mail! Check in at Abe Linkum this Friday to view the key to this problem's exciting answer!
Labels: Bush, religious right
