Wednesday, January 31, 2007


Bush Impressed by Iraqi Call-up of A-10 Warthogs

After an initial rout of American-trained, multi-billion dollar-backed Iraqi forces by wholly insane, Najafian apocalyptics who shared a group vision of joining Pastor John Hagee's end-of-the-world crusade, President George Bush, an ironic devotee of Hagee's delphic Doomsday deliveries declared that, "The Iraqis are beginning to show me something" after Iraqi forces ran away to hide while calling in Warthog 30 mm Gatling guns to stifle the holy belligerents.

Overall, an impressive show of pressing through political ends by miltary means. Very impressive, Mr. Bush. Although, it must be hard to staff and train a competent Iraqi army when anyone worthwhile for your cause has either been killed or run out of the country.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007


Iran to Backfill Bush's $1 Trillion Hole

Someone has to take over the responsibility for the soon-to-be one-trillion dollar Iraqi power vacuum created by George Bush's war machination. Iran looks to be the sweep since it's right next door and Bush has done such a fine job of calculation along with the depletion of our force capabilities.

What's George's brand, anyway? Is his vac an Oreck or a wreck? It's probably a wreck from all the inside mess created while playing war.

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Thursday, January 25, 2007


Cheney Grandkid Granted Deferment In Utero

The Fightin' Cheneys are again showing their mettle. In the bold, classic, go-eff-yourself manner that has so endeared the man to all touched, Dick Cheney, in order to keep the Cheney heritage true to its fighting form and as a shower present for his preggo-yet-gayo daughter, Mary, has decreed that his newly minted grandclod will have a blanket military deferment perpetually granted to it. And, that such deferments are automatically granddaddied into and for all successive Cheney generations through a double-secret signing statement by and of The President.

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Monday, January 22, 2007


Cirque de Critique, Act VII: Pre-POTUS/SOTU Headache Edition

While George Bush attempts to steal home, mind you from first, by vainly appealing to his dwindled base during his SOTU address, so too should you realize he's caught in a rundown and will be out soon. Huzzah.

And huzzah to: Lights. Ballast. Action!

Cir de Cri's the big blog carnival tent that takes all as long as those taken take on others trying to take them. If you'd like to submit your critical posts in a future edition, please do so right below:

Blog Carnival submission form - cirque de critique

Cirque's looking for future hosts, too. To be a ringmaster, contact The Hippo right here and ask to do so.

Each act of Cir de Cri has three scenes and/or rings: All-for-Free, For-All-Free, and the vaunted Free-for-All.


Some say a pinch of fiscal restraint in one's earlier years goes a long way later on -- just ask of Einstein's opinion of compounding interest. But Andrea Dickson thinks otherwise in Bourgeoisie Guilt: Can I Conquer My Vanity for the Sake of My Sanity? posted at Wise Bread. This story also gives testimony to the ancient maxim of opposites attracting, if for only the sake of the ability to stay within the current bourgeoiety.

Non-confrontist/perfectionist that I am, going overbread with the lox may be a bit too much before Happy Hour. But not so with Linda Freedman in That Bagel and Cream Cheese at Everyone needs therapy? Lessons from a family therapist, saying, "People who just have to tell you what to do, who have to criticize to the point of showing you what you're doing wrong when you make the sandwich of your dreams, simply have to be confronted. But in a nice way, an irrefutable way. TherapyDoc presents her version of confronting the criticizer."

Will Chen presents Bourgeoisie Guilt: Can I Conquer My Vanity for the Sake of My Sanity? posted at Wisebread, saying, "Andrea examines why she feels compelled to spend more than she can afford."

Who's Will Chen?


On science watch, Avant News pre-alerts the readership that Einstein's opinion on compounding interest may not be so swell now that God Loses Dice, as ever priesciently posted at Avant News.

I guess the pachyderms didn't want three rings after all along with them being for-all-free since they took out one in a rampage and have since been corraled as humanly possible. Hopefully by Act VIII all will be re-erected. Thanks for your patronage. Watch your step on the way out.

Blog Carnival archive - cirque de critique

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Sunday, January 21, 2007


Carnival of the Godless: 'The Power of One' Edition

As nave for this edition of COTG, Abe Linkum welcomes all meeting and invites those who want to enter their posts in future COTG's to do so right below on An Icon of the Godless:

Blog Carnival submission form - carnival of the godless

A particular thanks must go to Abe's sponsors -- TV whore for christ sakers, Paula White, plus the (in)finiteness of the number one -- just for your halloiety and my numerotheoscopy in our current season of invernality and incapacitance.

Why Paula White not Abdul? Because White rakes in more by being more the idol for the filthy lucre.

Why the number one let alone another simple number named e? It's since there's enough infinity in one to fill up any deic's chariot if one could only count how many angels cared to dance on top of a pinhead and not for parchmental purposes. Gods should have went and gone by the numbers. But even after revelations, humans haven't yet caught up with it all. Tribalism's been hard to shake.

... let's see all the others' take:

Observing that a WSJ editorialist was peeved about atheists alarmed by "...the fevered fancies of the God-intoxicated among us" and the saturation of military 'economies' produced by such pitchedness, Alon Levy presents Anti-Atheism is Misguided posted at Abstract Nonsense, saying, "This post shows how one anti-atheist op-ed in the Wall Street Journal makes the same kind of argument that was used against labor liberalism in the late 1800s and against the civil rights movement in the 1950s and 60s."

Watch out Alon. Those new weapon systems in the works may be heading toward yours. Gotta love our new, 'private' military set under conservative rule. They used to call 'em "company men" or company "dicks", if you will. Except now, they're for oil's, not coal's sake.

UberKuh presents Three Basic Problems with Christianity posted at UberKuh - The Artistic Atheist.

Huh! To think that all of this time I thought the problems arose from the fathers, sons, and ghosts categories.

The power of one couldn't budge our next entrant. Neither may you since I couldn't click in to his post. You might sport more special powers, so let me know by trying Mike Haubrich perhaps presenting Mikism is Humanism Writ Small posted at Latest entries from, saying, "Here is an explanation of how a religion can be satisfactory for an atheist. It is a religion of one."

COTG's resident odist-in-the-house, Steve Snyder/SocraticGadfly, presents a nice and agile post-it poem about some guys taking on monkish authority in an attempt to polish their inner tarnishments in Verbal judo on Zen posted at The Philosophy of the Socratic Gadfly, saying, "Summary: A brief poem on the self-referential illogic behind Zen koans"

Accurately finding that the trend of decline in sales of Pat Robertson's Miracle Health Shakes bodes well for the over-all being of the country's mental sanity, J-Bar presents What I'm Optimistic About posted at Lord J-Bar For Democracy, Not Theocracy, saying, "After reading's essays on what preeminent thinkers are optimistic about, I thought I'd share my own hopes."

Akusai presents Ridiculosity posted at Action Skeptics, saying, "In this post, I deal with some of my misgivings with Trey Parker, one of the creators of South Park, and how his rather absurd belief structure influences the way he portrays atheism on his show."

Not only that, Akusai, but I hear all of Parker's cels recently froze-up due to his inherent entropismoticuity!

Spinning well after Mary Baker Eddy became intimately integral with earth -- Scott Lee, a practitioner of "Religious Science" -- presents What is God? posted at Dirty Mechanism.

In a totally different spirit, one where Jesus loves all the little bastards, Jeff Matheny presents Screw the Holy Spirit: Jesus Was a Bastard - posted at The Gay Black Jew, saying, "This is simply an example of rational thought mixed with tremendous irony."

Demonstrating superb patience with the pains of the world, Brandon Peele, while building a "...framework for examining human experience on a microscopic sensory level", sat in for us to present Second 10-day Vipassana Sit posted at GT.

Hmm. I've always wondered if such exercises could produce long-term effects by altering gene expression, as would also free will if true.

If one's up for a word dissection, Sean J. Vaughan (on behalf of the author Dan Barker) presents Atheism Defined posted at Reason and Rhyme. After slicing and dicing, Barker attains the nth derivation of the word and gets to its precise meaning by providing a full range of atheism, from soft to hard atheism.

Okay, then. I'm now lost.

Mitochondrial plasmids aresure to run amok now that God has lost more than his marbles. Avant News, in a vice patrol-like exposition of astronomical hanky-panky that shows Einstein being played for the fool he was, presents God Loses Dice posted at Avant News.

Sister Novena
cracks the rule on the knuckless of faith, only to find the fickle fingers of faith faltering under wraps in The Atheism Thing posted at Sister Novena's PortaPulpit.

Martin Rundkvist
presents Aardvarchaeology: Book Review: Davis & Rauner, Visionary State posted at Aardvarchaeology.

Martin Rundkvist presents No Rest for the Christians posted at Aardvarchaeology.

Ask yourself this question: Am I proud of being a Sunday school drop-out? Stephen Littau writes that you should be proud and that the Southern Baptist Convention scholars flunked their basic hydro-dynamics course at bible college in Sunday School Science Lesson posted at Fearless Philosophy For Free Minds.

presents Interview with Brian Sapient of The Blasphemy Challenge posted at Friendly Atheist, saying, "This was an interview I did with one of the creators of the Blasphemy Challenge, the YouTube phenomenon."

Jerry Monaco
presents Desire for Hell: Thoughts of a Jesuitical Atheist on Jonathan Edwards posted at Shandean Postscripts to Politics, Philosophy, & Culture:, saying, "This is a poem on Jonathan Edwards' famous fire and brimstone sermon. The real impact of the sermon, in my view, is the longing for the horrors of hell."

Evil Bender (Israel Wasserstein)
presents Case study: how fundamentalism warps your sense of morality posted at Notes from Evil Bender, saying, "I thought this brief post discussing how fundamentalism is antithetical to morality might be of interest."

presents Religious Indoctrination as Child Abuse? posted at Atheist Revolution.

Barry Mahfood
presents The Question of Belief posted at The Price of Rice!.

Will creationistic-minded people once again start hanging cats as omens of evil? Find out as Greg Lammers presents Charles Darwin and the Cat Slight posted at Free Mind Joe.

Blog Carnival archive - carnival of the godless

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Saturday, January 20, 2007


COTG -- Sunday sunset meeting time

Tomorrow's brethrenal gathering of Carnival of the Godless, given by yours truly, will be a sunset meeting starting at 6 PM EST witht its main theme brought to you by the number one!

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Monday, January 15, 2007


Sour Jocks: Punchdrunk with Mike Tyson in Round 6 Edition

Ding! Ding! Ding! Another round of Sour Jocks begins where Mark McWired left off.

Sour Jocks Sports Carnival takes your posts on miscreant millionaires, steroid-induced wife-beaters, fathers punching out Little League umpires -- and the like. If you'd like to enter your posts in future editions of Sour Jocks, do so right below:

Blog Carnival submission form - sour jocks

Sour Jocks is looking for hosts, too. To become one, wake up The Hippo and contact him right here where he'll set you up for you to knock them down!

Sour Jocks has three categories for your submissions: Sandlot, amateur and professional.


Since our first entrant didn't specify which level of field to enter, your Sour Jocks commissioner assigns Vahid Chaychi into 'sandlot' only for rounding purposes of having at least one sandlot entrant. Mr. Chaychi gives a primer of physical problems other than ramped rage relating to steroid use and would like to karate chop the users and their chemists in Doping and Cancer Kill Athletes Cruelly posted at

...which is a kinda funny title since it means 'health tumor'.


Further filling out tonight's card is a throw-in from the commissioner to insure this ranking shows one more dive from Mike Tyson -- another celebrity taking time out for rehab. In a decisive moment, Tyson took a timeout from rehab before submitting to authorities after a zany drug spree not involving tattoos.


A truly gigantic basketball fan and showing well in the run for Best of Asia weblogging, Dan Harris argues that China's growing pains are similar to a young athlete reaching regional stardom and knowing it, only to be brought down a notch when realizing he's only one of many similar talents playing at the next level. Mr. Harris also states that "Yao Ming ain't all that" at China And Yao Ming Rising? posted at China Law Blog.

So goes another round of Sour Jocks. Where's the cardgirl?

Blog Carnival archive - sour jocks

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Sunday, January 14, 2007


Oden Volunteers Comic Relief In and On Game Briefs

via Bill Livingston @ The Plain Dealer

After giving a stand-up performance against Tennessee while playing just one-handed to gain fifty-something rebounds, Greg Oden, Hoosiers-wanted-him-to-be and budding Buckeye stand-up comic, volunteered some locker room humor in response to futile, Tennessee attempts at hacking at his woodliness. Warming up reporters in the post-hop, Oden deadpanned that a Volunteer "... put his leg between my legs ..." and would " ... get two hands in my back." Oden cracked further with the punch line: "My butt was out for a second. I'm dead serious, too. I felt a little wind chill."

I don't know if this is all tall tales about this year's warm Ohio winter or just a bit of cooling down after the game, but think about Oden's delivery when he gets both hands in play. And, maybe Oden really is serious since he probably gets a better draw on prevailing currents.

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Wednesday, January 10, 2007


Breaking Headlines of Today's Science: Bush Power Surge Edition

Beltway Production of Conventional Manifold Densities in a Bose-Einstein Condensate Leading to Complete Corporeal Stasis and Laminar Thinking

-- Science and Wealth with Key to the Grifters, March, 2007

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Sunday, January 07, 2007


Cirque de Critique, Act VI: The Issue of Hangovers

The seasonal nog wore hard on the ringmaster -- so hard that he has been given temporary pachyderm poop-scoop duty just to clear his head! Old, smelly salts need not apply!

Lights. Ballast. Action! Cir de Cri's the big blog carnival tent that takes all as long as those taken take on others trying to take them. If you'd like to submit your critical posts in a future edition, please do so right below:

Blog Carnival submission form - cirque de critique

Cirque's looking for future hosts, too. To be a ringmaster, contact The Hippo right here and ask to do so.

Each act of Cir de Cri has three scenes and/or rings: All-for-Free, For-All-Free, and the vaunted Free-for-All.


Seeing that this edition is short of entrants due to liberties taken with the nog, Abe Linkum's going to throw one in that illustrates a futuristic look at embryonic stem cell research gone asunder in: Failure of Embryonic Stem Cell Research Leads to New Hope for America's Public School Kids. Enjoy!


Our next entrant certainly isn't looking for The Anarchist's Cookbook at his local library and, apparently, has concluded that man isn't capable as a self-regulating mechanism since Corey presents The Problem With Anarchy (Short Version) posted at

Corey must be from the 'new school'. He presents evidence that, nowadays, all school campuses have a class of anarchic artistes that draw "the anarchy symbol"? Not in my day, Corey. I don't even know what that symbol looks like. Is it a scatter plot? As far as our high school's band was concerned, our symbol for anarchy was an E# key signature. And, the only other thing symbolic of anarchy at our school was the students' general behavior.

...and the curtain falls on another act of Cir de Cri. Thanks to all for participating.

Blog Carnival archive - cirque de critique

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Thursday, January 04, 2007


Postcards from The Kremlin

In an amteurish attempt at out-pooty-pootin' Putin, George Bush, in another infamous signing statement no doubt boldly stroked but poorly spelled, has decided it's within his dictates to pry that last piece of postalic privacy away from your rightful hands and into his demi-tsar-stained mitts for his perusal. Mitts, mind you, that have never been in a real scrape.

And there's the rub. Since he has never had to truly mix it up, George knows he would get an out-and-out, ole-timey butt-kickin' by his rival, Pooty, if such a grudge match were to take place. Unfortunately -- and at the receiving end of Bush's mal-machismotic, if not now wholly Katerinic complexity -- Americans get hit with the corporality of it along with cash payments due on delivery.

With privacy returned to sender and supposed sacred rights now lumped in with the junk-mailings, it shouldn't suprise people if the term 'going postal' takes new meaning.

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Frantic Grand Jury Forecloses Tracts of Cleveland Peculators!

via The Plain Dealer

Jury duty has become one of just a few remaining growth industries sprouting from Cleveland's soiled economy now that scores of land sharks have been beached and the value of the city's barrens are left without their only remaining price prop called fraudulent appraisals. Cleveland's situation in one word? Bleak.

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