Friday, March 16, 2007
Sour Jocks, Round 8: Your Face and My Hockey Stick Edition
Where does goony New York Islander Chris Simon get off claiming he's a 'professional' hockey player? Any true player worth his hip pads would easily point to Simon as a phony if only by Simon's atrocious stick handling.Being a pro means sticking your shot with precision once the decision's made to take it. Simon? Simon missed badly, slightly wounding the Crosstown Rangers' Ryan Hollweg with a weak chin shot instead of one strong -- right in the temple or either orbital to finish off Hollweg as intended.
Hey, Simon. It's back to the frozen catfish farm pond for you, Skater.
Ding! Ding! Ding! Welcome to another round of Sour Jocks.
Sour Jocks Sports Carnival takes your posts on miscreantic millionaires, steroid-induced wife-beating hulks, fathers punching out Little League umpires -- and the like. To enter your posts in future editions of Sour Jocks, do so right below:
Sour Jocks is looking for hosts, too. To become one, wake up The Hippo and contact him right here where he'll set you up for you to knock 'em down!
Sour Jocks has three categories for your submissions: Sandlot, amateur and professional. Since our first entrant didn't declare his abilities in the recruiting tape sent to our GM, Sour Jocks automatically ships him to -->
Sandlot
Styling baseball as "the liberal hippie sport of choice", gunslinger Wyatt Earp presents Tell Me Again How Baseball Isn't Corrupt? posted at Support Your Local Gunfighter, saying, "It's snarky, but I think it's appropriate."
Sheriff, it may be appropriate. But is it okay to corral these same pot-smoking hippies in with baseball-loving George Bush.
Sacrilege!
Professional
David Culpepper presents Pete Rose Bet on Reds Every Night posted at SportingLink.com.
Wow! We first get arguments about Pete Rose from Sheriff Earp of above. Now Culpepper. Is Dante's Inferno as is today's professional baseball as our entrants claim? For answers, stay tuned to Sour Jocks as the season heats up this summer.
Folks, that's all. Thanks for your participation.
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Sour Jocks, Round 7: Evander Holyfinone Brand Steroid Edition
Anibolitol, Shot-and-Discinate, Pugilistinone, Balconol, Bicyclic Acid, Sprintinol. And now, Evander-Holyfinone.Ding! Ding! Ding! Welcome to another round of Sour Jocks.
Sour Jocks Sports Carnival takes your posts on miscreantic millionaires, steroid-induced wife-beaters, fathers punching out Little League umpires -- and the like. To enter your posts in future editions of Sour Jocks, do so right below:
Sour Jocks is looking for hosts, too. To become one, wake up The Hippo and contact him right here where he'll set you up for you to knock 'em down!
Sour Jocks has three categories for your submissions: Sandlot, amateur and professional.
Sandlot
Seeing that no one wants to take a swing in our sandlot league -- or amateur one, for that matter -- Abe Linkum lays down a quick bunt about a smooth hitter close to home in Akron Okay with Student/Coach Underage Sex!
Professional
Carlos Figueroa presents 23! posted at Kick Ass Offense.
If that isn't ever "'23 Skidoo!", then I don't know what qualifies.
A real fan favorite here at Abe Linkum because he has provided about the only degree of legitimacy to this blog, Jon Swift presents Tim Hardaway Makes Homophobia Look Bad posted at Jon Swift, saying, "I don't want to hear what athletes think of the War in Iraq, global warming, nuclear proliferation or gay rights. To tell you the truth, I don't even want to hear what they have to say about sports, either, but sportscasters insist on interviewing them."
Jon, I know there's a "Penny" Hardaway from the NBA. Maybe Tim is really "Puny" Hardaway which could give him a complex rare among men with similar racial makeup as his.
Ted Reimers presents Gonzaga Drug Problems posted at CampusGrotto, saying, "A basketball town with a drug problem? or a Drug town with a basketball problem? Top College Basketball star ruins career because of drugs."
Mr. Reimers, are they still licking hallucinogen-secreting toads in your neck of Washington's woods?
Folks, that's all. Thanks for your participation.
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
Monday, January 15, 2007
Sour Jocks: Punchdrunk with Mike Tyson in Round 6 Edition
Ding! Ding! Ding! Another round of Sour Jocks begins where Mark McWired left off.Sour Jocks Sports Carnival takes your posts on miscreant millionaires, steroid-induced wife-beaters, fathers punching out Little League umpires -- and the like. If you'd like to enter your posts in future editions of Sour Jocks, do so right below:
Sour Jocks is looking for hosts, too. To become one, wake up The Hippo and contact him right here where he'll set you up for you to knock them down!
Sour Jocks has three categories for your submissions: Sandlot, amateur and professional.
Sandlot
Since our first entrant didn't specify which level of field to enter, your Sour Jocks commissioner assigns Vahid Chaychi into 'sandlot' only for rounding purposes of having at least one sandlot entrant. Mr. Chaychi gives a primer of physical problems other than ramped rage relating to steroid use and would like to karate chop the users and their chemists in Doping and Cancer Kill Athletes Cruelly posted at Healthoma.com....which is a kinda funny title since it means 'health tumor'.
Amateur
Further filling out tonight's card is a throw-in from the commissioner to insure this ranking shows one more dive from Mike Tyson -- another celebrity taking time out for rehab. In a decisive moment, Tyson took a timeout from rehab before submitting to authorities after a zany drug spree not involving tattoos.Professional
A truly gigantic basketball fan and showing well in the run for Best of Asia weblogging, Dan Harris argues that China's growing pains are similar to a young athlete reaching regional stardom and knowing it, only to be brought down a notch when realizing he's only one of many similar talents playing at the next level. Mr. Harris also states that "Yao Ming ain't all that" at China And Yao Ming Rising? posted at China Law Blog.So goes another round of Sour Jocks. Where's the cardgirl?
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
Friday, December 01, 2006
Sour Jocks: Round 5
Ding! Ding! Ding! Another round of Sour Jocks starts out with flurries!Sour Jocks Sports Carnival takes your posts on miscreantic millionaires, steroid-induced wife-beaters, fathers punching out Little League umpires -- and the like. If you'd like to enter your posts on these punks in future editions of Sour Jocks, please do so immediately below:
Sour Jocks is always looking for hosts, too. To become one, wake up The Hippo and contact him right here where he'll set you up for you to knock them down!
Sour Jocks has three categories for your submissions: Sandlot, amateur and professional.
Sandlot
Abe's going to start off with a hometown boy out of Michigan and one of Cleveland's great sandlot professionals getting the big bucks, Braylon Edwards, Cleveland Browns wide-out and right-out-of-hands-and-into-opponents' playuh. Braylon's so damn good at dropping passes, especially in the end-zone, that he has time to diss teammates and play hard nose with them instead of those faced on the scrimmage line.This overpaid, rookie jerk went face-to-face -- but behind back in the media -- with Browns safety Brian Russell, accusing him of hitting Cincinnati receiver Chad Johnson too hard. Oh, boo hoo! You wouldn't want to mess up those nice clean pants after you shit them, would ya Braylon? Go get another manicure, doofuss.
Amateur
Andrew Sasinowski presents Mid-American Baseball League posted at Eastern Baseball League, saying, "Fictional Baseball Fun!"I'll admit it's fun looking back at the 1900 Mid-American League season to reminisce on the great ones, Leopoldo and Hernandez, right after they came over as scouts for Gen. Pershing. And who could forget the grudge games between Manhattan and Savannah?
Professional
Here, Mr. Hunter has the idea of what Sour Jocks is about. Starling David Hunter presents End It Like Beckham at a fine weblog called The Business of America is Business.Mr. Hunter provides Sour Jocks fans a good analysis of Major League Soccer's new "competition" strategy, its marketing implications and a foretell of things to come -- with 'minor' stealing a victory over 'Major'.
That's all for now. Thanks to all for participating in blogdom's most angled look at the sporting world, Sour Jocks. Don't miss Round 6. No ticket stub required!
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Sour Jocks - Round 4
Welcome to Round 4 of Sour Jocks Sports Carnival. Sour Jocks is a blog carnival that takes swings at whining millionaires, pumped up wife-beaters on steroids, fathers shooting Little League umpires -- and the like.If you'd like to enter your posts or even host future editions of Sour Jocks, then click right below:
First up at bat is Surfer Sam who presents Football Jokes and Football Quotes Part 1. Fans, coaches and players are funny. Although not in phase with the spirit of Sour Jocks, our hope is that Sam's phasic on the waves.
Since submissions to Sour Jocks are low this time, Abe's going to throw out a few quick-hitters for all fans of Sour Jocks --
Texas Tech's basketball guru, Bobby Knight, is going to be throwing more chairs across shiny gym floors after hearing his leading scorer can't score on his academics and will pine back home about the good old days riding bench in Knight's doghouse.
Texas Tech's AD will pine about the good old days when his college football players didn't ransack people's apartments for i-Pods and computers. A great day for Texas Tech athletics!
Track "coach" and snitch, Trevor Graham, gets his just dues in the dopey BALCO case.
And, one of Sour Jocks' favorites, Ron Artest, debuts this week on NBA courts. More importantly, and to preserve his thug image, Ron debuts his newest rap CD! A must hear for all gangstaphiles!
As the fighters go back to their corners, so goes another round of Sour Jocks. See everyone next time.
Technorati tags:
sour jocks, blog carnival.
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Sour Jocks - Round 3
Ding! Ding! Ding! Round 3 of Sour Jocks Sports Carnival starts off like Round 2, with one jab thrown by our one fighter amid a timely college football 'event' just prior to the round's opening bell, relieving the host from digging hard for other examples of what makes some jocks too sour to wear and earn acceptance into the bottom of the Team Room's hamper - seeing that Sour Jocks is an expansion team, and all.The next edition of Sour Jocks is on Sunday, Nov. 1. If you want to send in your posts and get linked or host and get even more so, then click right below -
To start and end with this round's post, Brian, over at the concesssion stand, is serving up more cheeZeburgers, but doesn't expect to get paid - even on Tuesdays at WhatZgonnahappen.com which posted WhatZgonnahappen.com, saying, "Thanks for the mention last time!" Brian, don't mention it. How about hosting to get your Technorati count up a bit. Oh, and a bit more pepper on that burger next round.
Thanks, and that's all except for last night's head-stompin', swamp-creatur'd soiree in Florida between Fl.Int, a team true to Abe's heart, and Miami, who perennially have put the 'Pro' in Cro-Magnon for behavior on and off playing fields. Kudos to both teams on your exposure!
Labels: blog carnival, Sour Jocks
