Thursday, March 08, 2007
National Concern Over Cheney's Constipation
Suffering a similar stasis as the bog of Baghdad he helped create, and proudly exhibiting what has at all times been the stomach for more war, Vice President Dick Cheney's non-Walter Reed physicians have thoroughly screened the sixty-six year-old lumpkin and gave a diagnosis of chronic constipation due to increased D.C. and Afghani bunkerage -- plus long, numerous transatlantic crossings to kiss emirate ass in vain efforts to soften up their own gilded stools. An ancillary complication stemming from his peculiar 'activities' has been DVT, or deep vein thrombosis, not the DT's as may be expected.
Cheney's newest maladies have those bunkered closest to him, and a few other dead-ending loiterers, asking what will be the global impact from Cheney's impaction -- and who's to mop up the mess afterwards?
Labels: Dick Cheney, Health and Wellness, spooferisms
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Cheney Bombing Update: Dick to Receive Medal of Honor
Apparently reporting from inside an abatis abutting Dick Cheney's bunker, Political Cortex gives a stirring account of yet another typical Walterian send-off by the Bushies so Dick Cheney can retire with full, unearned regalia -- just like the the ones all of those co-dependents had with J. Paul's bash and Rummy's final romp around Arlington National Cemetery.
Labels: Dick Cheney, propaganda
Take a Fantasy 'Cheney Recon Weekend'!
Abe Linkum cordially invites the remaining twenty-seven percent of Americans still lapping up the Middle Eastern course dished out by BushCo without finishing off the entire stock of bromides to retrace Dick Cheney's recent historic steps through Pak-Afghanistan by taking an exciting, Fantasy Talibani Recon Weekend!
It's here where you'll finally, after all of that pent up deferment, experience the thrills of actual military reconnaissance after we first provide you with an excellent breakfast and then as a high-level target to crazed tribesmen by air-dropping you into the Khyber Pass in a T-shirt that says Moo-ham-ed Can Go Eat Qud!. Our technique allows you to one-up the VeePee since you'll flush out Talibani faster than Dick would a Texas lawyer in the wilds of Wyoming.
Do your duty and sign up today!
It's here where you'll finally, after all of that pent up deferment, experience the thrills of actual military reconnaissance after we first provide you with an excellent breakfast and then as a high-level target to crazed tribesmen by air-dropping you into the Khyber Pass in a T-shirt that says Moo-ham-ed Can Go Eat Qud!. Our technique allows you to one-up the VeePee since you'll flush out Talibani faster than Dick would a Texas lawyer in the wilds of Wyoming.
Do your duty and sign up today!
Labels: Dick Cheney, hunting, vacation getaways
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Cheney Grandkid Granted Deferment In Utero
The Fightin' Cheneys are again showing their mettle. In the bold, classic, go-eff-yourself manner that has so endeared the man to all touched, Dick Cheney, in order to keep the Cheney heritage true to its fighting form and as a shower present for his preggo-yet-gayo daughter, Mary, has decreed that his newly minted grandclod will have a blanket military deferment perpetually granted to it. And, that such deferments are automatically granddaddied into and for all successive Cheney generations through a double-secret signing statement by and of The President.
Labels: Dick Cheney, gays
Monday, November 06, 2006
Jingo Man: 'Dick Cheney Outdoors' Edition
It's possible, Jingo Man. Cheney's a bigger pig than you. He may even be the biggest pig on the planet. If there's a larger one out there, Abe would like to know.
Labels: Dick Cheney, hunting, Jingo Man, pigs, sport
