Thursday, March 08, 2007


National Concern Over Cheney's Constipation

Suffering a similar stasis as the bog of Baghdad he helped create, and proudly exhibiting what has at all times been the stomach for more war, Vice President Dick Cheney's non-Walter Reed physicians have thoroughly screened the sixty-six year-old lumpkin and gave a diagnosis of chronic constipation due to increased D.C. and Afghani bunkerage -- plus long, numerous transatlantic crossings to kiss emirate ass in vain efforts to soften up their own gilded stools. An ancillary complication stemming from his peculiar 'activities' has been DVT, or deep vein thrombosis, not the DT's as may be expected.

Cheney's newest maladies have those bunkered closest to him, and a few other dead-ending loiterers, asking what will be the global impact from Cheney's impaction -- and who's to mop up the mess afterwards?

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