Monday, November 06, 2006
Jingo Man: 'Dick Cheney Outdoors' Edition
It's possible, Jingo Man. Cheney's a bigger pig than you. He may even be the biggest pig on the planet. If there's a larger one out there, Abe would like to know.
Labels: Dick Cheney, hunting, Jingo Man, pigs, sport
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Abe's Obscure But Sure Pigskin Predictions - Week 6
This Saturday brings three great Div. I games that, with justification, nobody knows or cares about. However, you can still bet on them. If you take The Hippo's advice and lay it down as suggested, the spread will have fed your wallet.
(Homies in caps)
BUFFALO loses to Ball State by less than six. Bisonal kicks through bifurcations prove enough giving Lake Ontario's answer to Lake Erie's Oberlin Yeomen a hard fought two-pointed defeat.
Not only does Connecticut soak up SOUTH FLORIDA's 6 1/2 point superiority complex, but takes to The Juice, murdering The Bulls by slashing run play. Conn jobs the Bulls' scrap, 24-7.
Fl.Int. finally flakes-out from losing five close ones. Seeing a three point margin as too much to overcome, they also take Juice's cue and flee from NORTH TEXAS with some guy named Al who turns out to be Fl.Int.'s last fan. South Okies 27, Fl.Int. 13.
(Homies in caps)
BUFFALO loses to Ball State by less than six. Bisonal kicks through bifurcations prove enough giving Lake Ontario's answer to Lake Erie's Oberlin Yeomen a hard fought two-pointed defeat.
Not only does Connecticut soak up SOUTH FLORIDA's 6 1/2 point superiority complex, but takes to The Juice, murdering The Bulls by slashing run play. Conn jobs the Bulls' scrap, 24-7.
Fl.Int. finally flakes-out from losing five close ones. Seeing a three point margin as too much to overcome, they also take Juice's cue and flee from NORTH TEXAS with some guy named Al who turns out to be Fl.Int.'s last fan. South Okies 27, Fl.Int. 13.
Labels: football, NCAA, picks, sport
Friday, September 29, 2006
Jock Cleveland Kids Ranked 'Gamey'
A rash of topical Staph infections has recently hit the turf and onto select Cleveland area high school athletes in five communities so far. The outbreak apparently has been brought by artificiality of playing field and the general ahygenic natures of Cleveland kids.
Staph, an increasingly antibiotically resistant bacteria due in good part to elite medical institutions like The Cleveland Clinic and characterized by its grape-like appearance while viewed with microscopy, has epidemiological sleuths and local health officials worried about this strain's potential wrath. They are attempting to stave it off by staffing high school locker rooms and principals' offices with information suggesting their kids need to 'hit the showers' more often and adults to clean the playroom by Hoovering its carpet. (A little football humor since both Hoover Vacuum Co. and The Football Hall of Fame reside in Canton, OH. - with most of Hoover moving to Canton, China.)
Meanwhile, tort trial hacks look to capitalize on Staph resistance to spread and serve suits to those same officials in a pro-biotic, pro class-action manner.
More cases are sure to blossom this week as officials attempt to blow the whistle on the festering foe while young sweat-swappers prove their grittiness in the trenches, some fetid, on this and every other fevered gridiron fest that infects Ohioans on fall Friday nights. The gram-positive is that most games are now in conference play which should confine Staph's spread to, say, plus six new teams infected - with no over/under given or state lines to cross.
Abe's Friday Night Pigskin Prediction! "Take the spread since rainy weather could leave fewer teams susceptible to the gram-negative S. epidermidis since it's hydrophobic and would look to flush away from its turf-fed home and into Lake Erie as a filmy residue of sorts."
Staph, an increasingly antibiotically resistant bacteria due in good part to elite medical institutions like The Cleveland Clinic and characterized by its grape-like appearance while viewed with microscopy, has epidemiological sleuths and local health officials worried about this strain's potential wrath. They are attempting to stave it off by staffing high school locker rooms and principals' offices with information suggesting their kids need to 'hit the showers' more often and adults to clean the playroom by Hoovering its carpet. (A little football humor since both Hoover Vacuum Co. and The Football Hall of Fame reside in Canton, OH. - with most of Hoover moving to Canton, China.)
Meanwhile, tort trial hacks look to capitalize on Staph resistance to spread and serve suits to those same officials in a pro-biotic, pro class-action manner.
More cases are sure to blossom this week as officials attempt to blow the whistle on the festering foe while young sweat-swappers prove their grittiness in the trenches, some fetid, on this and every other fevered gridiron fest that infects Ohioans on fall Friday nights. The gram-positive is that most games are now in conference play which should confine Staph's spread to, say, plus six new teams infected - with no over/under given or state lines to cross.
Abe's Friday Night Pigskin Prediction! "Take the spread since rainy weather could leave fewer teams susceptible to the gram-negative S. epidermidis since it's hydrophobic and would look to flush away from its turf-fed home and into Lake Erie as a filmy residue of sorts."
Labels: antibiotics, Cleveland, hygeine, sport
