Monday, March 26, 2007
'Speaking in Tongues': A Near Brain-Death Experience
Scientific inquiry is just starting to peek at what most enlightened observers have long seen in charismatic Christian sectists that perform the 'gifted' art of glossolalia, or 'speaking in tongues', in that these peculiar practitioners of palatine pummeling retard their level of brain function by burbling this babble, or glossolalia, during their communes with The Great Orator.
As ABC's Nightline recently reported, a team of University of Pennsylvania scientists with too much time on their watch have provided, through CAT-like vision, our first proof that the frontal lobes responsible for a glossolalist's past capacity to reason turns to gloppolioleo -- a new neurobiological phenomenon of regression that morphs highly differentiated neurons in higher level cerebral mechanisms toward basally-recessive, brain-stemmy globuloids that integrate input only for purposes of mass hysteria.
Sort of telencephaly turned paleocephalicy. Atavism, if you will.
Labels: Focus on the Frontal Lobe, science, science news, spooferisms, tribalism
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Talkin' in Tongues: A Primer From 'Abe's Sunday Chats'
True to Abe's early pedagogic experience at the school of blab, Abe Linkum proudly presents his first catechismal attempt at unveiling the glosso-charismatic phenomena emanating today from megachurches off of select megahighway interchanges. By taking this short blab course, you will gain some degree of understanding these uniglottarians as they babble their way to salvation. Join us, would you?Now, loudly repeat the instructed phrases in sequence, over and over, as your answer:
'Shylock-alock-alock-alock-alock. Shylock-alock-alock.'
'Shimi-di-dy-ah, shimi-day. Shamalama din-din, shamalama lay.'
'Shibboleth and I don't care..., my master's gone away!'
'Sha-na-na-na. Hey master, goodbye. Na-na-na-na-na-na.'
'Son-alot-a-bitchin, de-bitch's-back, alock.'
'She-bat, she-bat, a-lang, a-lang, a-lang.'
'Dub-a-dub-a, dub-a-doo-doo, dub-a doo-dah day.'
Repeat.
Stay tuned on any given Sunday where our next pentacostalic primer may get posted.
Labels: religious right, Televangelism, tribalism
Monday, September 25, 2006
'Prince/Religion of Peace' Participants Pillage Again
Here's old news from a long three days ago. That's why it's just that one's so soon reminded since this piece also could be titled Coda to Variations on an Old Theme.
Christian rioting broke out in Indonesia after three Catholic militiamen were executed following attacks in 2000 including, and dependent on who's talking, one that tallied 70-200 killed by machete and gun somewhere within 1000 feet of a school.
A catalyst for the Christian conflagration came about by some sort of disagreement over who needed to be executed first - either a Muslim group of murderers or this Christian one that turned riotous. The Christians came first.
How peaceful it truly is among the Prince/Religion of Peace participants. Let holy sacrifices continue and the tribes out to scalp once more!
Christian rioting broke out in Indonesia after three Catholic militiamen were executed following attacks in 2000 including, and dependent on who's talking, one that tallied 70-200 killed by machete and gun somewhere within 1000 feet of a school.
A catalyst for the Christian conflagration came about by some sort of disagreement over who needed to be executed first - either a Muslim group of murderers or this Christian one that turned riotous. The Christians came first.
How peaceful it truly is among the Prince/Religion of Peace participants. Let holy sacrifices continue and the tribes out to scalp once more!
Labels: anti-sectism, christians, muslims, tribalism
