Sunday, December 10, 2006

 

Talkin' in Tongues: A Primer From 'Abe's Sunday Chats'

True to Abe's early pedagogic experience at the school of blab, Abe Linkum proudly presents his first catechismal attempt at unveiling the glosso-charismatic phenomena emanating today from megachurches off of select megahighway interchanges. By taking this short blab course, you will gain some degree of understanding these uniglottarians as they babble their way to salvation. Join us, would you?

Now, loudly repeat the instructed phrases in sequence, over and over, as your answer:

'Shylock-alock-alock-alock-alock. Shylock-alock-alock.'
'Shimi-di-dy-ah, shimi-day. Shamalama din-din, shamalama lay.'
'Shibboleth and I don't care..., my master's gone away!'
'Sha-na-na-na. Hey master, goodbye. Na-na-na-na-na-na.'
'Son-alot-a-bitchin, de-bitch's-back, alock.'
'She-bat, she-bat, a-lang, a-lang, a-lang.'
'Dub-a-dub-a, dub-a-doo-doo, dub-a doo-dah day.'

Repeat.

Stay tuned on any given Sunday where our next pentacostalic primer may get posted.

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