Wednesday, December 27, 2006


When Embryos Get to Heaven

Since Scripture promises a forever heavenly stint for "...he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven"(Matt 7:21) and for those who "...change and become like little children..."(Matt 18:3), it's obvious that, as the littlest children, embryos sacrificed at the altar of science would be the first taken and last forsaken. The others chosen -- most undoubtedly all grown up and sporting shiny, ungnashed teeth -- shall run into a mess of human embryonic spirits, or souls, if you will, during one's bright eternity with blessed human kin.

Initially rejoicing in reunes with these tiny seraphs, a realization of the scene might smite one's being in the moment. To prepare for such baptisms of brethrenal blasticity, one should ask a few questions before the ever after.

Do embryonic souls still look embryonic, or do they just grow up quickly by reaching the firmament?

What language would these critters speak? Do they speak in some universal tongue? Since embryos haven't yet developed a tongue, how do they speak it? Is it by some sort of Vulcan mind-meld or trans-ectodermic induction?

Similarly, can these morular mobs see you -- you know, as one of the 'saints' -- as well as you can see them?

Are the self-anointing oils that are used so extensively due to the brilliance of heaven's inhabitants as effective on the embryos' cherubic tissues? Or, are the sins of their flesh immediately washed away in a bloodbath?

If they have yet to develop ears, do they appreciate lyrical music?

Are cherubim older siblings of theirs, or evil step-relations?

Do embryos automatically go into the "born-again" class of Christian?

Again regarding sainthood: Do they immediately become one of the saints or do they need to develop more in order to self-anoint themselves?

Do they develop in vitro or in ethero?

These are just a few questions to bolster the spirits.

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