Wednesday, October 18, 2006

 

The CIA's Soft Target Tango

Bethesda, MD -

In a measured compromise with America's appeasers of islamofascist forces around the world, the CIA, in conjunction with ties developed by tsunamic intercourse, divulged their new pan-sino-pan-american psy-ops initiative - Code Name: Bravo Charlie's Delta!

"Our aim is to immediately start making massive airdrops over any regions experiencing semi-rapid to rapid infiltrations of islamofascists by enfilading such areas with our soon to be released coveys of origami pigeon drones programmed to flit about and perform precision strikes with their own peculiar droppings....", stated Gaspar Freundengeist, CIA Interagency Chief of Cooperative Outreach. "The drones are still in development, but the crisis nature of events gave impetus for our decision to drop. However, it's my understanding the drones have good sensitivity to heads exhibiting distinctive red-and-white checkerboard patterns."

According to Freundengeist, America's flagging wartime spirit also needs to be bolstered, "...especially among our appeasing friends....", as he wafted over a bowl of chowder with this reporter at Willard's. "We're looking to dovetail a propaganda campaign off our recent humanitarian successes that will feature posters of 'Fannie the Folder' hung in all federal facilities. We thought the rank-and-file would enjoy the nostalgic deco look of the poster with its slightly-off pastel feel and the sweaty Fannie habiting rolled-up sleeves."

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