Saturday, October 14, 2006

 

Madonna Conceives Black Child - Aids Africa

Another celebrity third-world outreach was performed this week in Malawi, where Madonna, after numerous unsuccessful attempts at prostituting Malawian males to cede their seed through her allures, finally succeeded in suckling one father's child out of his arms and into her spiked bosom. Dances, as an offering to the gods for her outpourings upon the sponsored village, were joylessly given after the swap was delivered.

Madonna's maternal make-over probably stems from celebrity jealousy over Bono's recent rise up the star-powered, Red charity charts that has Jobs' Apple getting a polished new face by plastic molded injection. This kind of attraction would do so for any pop, but not Darfur's.

The word has it that as Madonna returns home with her little conception of charity aboard Jet Spread, she places her newborn at risk since this would subject him too quickly to the frigid and musty environs of her island manse as well as to pulmonary inflammatories like dried baby pheasant droppings and No. 9 lead shot left over from nature walks with Brad Pitt.

...what was that thingy about China, Russia and North Korea?

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