Thursday, September 21, 2006
Glover/Chavez Start Chain of Harlem 'Jiggy Lubes'
Capitalizing on his ability to redistribute petropesetas in any fashion he dictates, Pit Boss Hugo Chavez announced he's opening a chain of Jiggy Lube service stations in Harlem and around inner-city rings across America. Danny Glover will serve in a minority sharecrop, er, shareholder capacity at Jiggy Lube in addition to being Hugo's squeegee boy.
In order to grease the palms of Harlem's poor and downtrodden, Chavez was invited by Mr. Glover to hoodwink the gathered at Mt. Olivet Baptist by offering up some prayers to St. Schlumbert, Patron of Offshore Drilling and Tax Loopholes. Not hesitating, Chavez cavalierly praised away:
"Oh God, my wellspring of wealth floweth of you and to me before the be-seated poor folk herein. Let them know I'm here on missions of prosperity, for I am of yours that do the same.
Let them see that they can rely on Boss Hugo just as much as they can a man who wears The Star. May they know that not only can they gas and go at Jiggy Lube, but won't ever have to work in getting fueled and satisfied, for we will service them - up at Jiggy.
And folks, as you go today, know that Danny's on the squeegee, Belafonte's checking your oil, and Beyonce' bends backwards over hoods to entertain and entrust you to the one who truly bears some scars - a big blight and Jiggy Lube tsar!"
cc: Ace of Spades, FreeGoodNews, Parkdale Pictures
In order to grease the palms of Harlem's poor and downtrodden, Chavez was invited by Mr. Glover to hoodwink the gathered at Mt. Olivet Baptist by offering up some prayers to St. Schlumbert, Patron of Offshore Drilling and Tax Loopholes. Not hesitating, Chavez cavalierly praised away:
"Oh God, my wellspring of wealth floweth of you and to me before the be-seated poor folk herein. Let them know I'm here on missions of prosperity, for I am of yours that do the same.
Let them see that they can rely on Boss Hugo just as much as they can a man who wears The Star. May they know that not only can they gas and go at Jiggy Lube, but won't ever have to work in getting fueled and satisfied, for we will service them - up at Jiggy.
And folks, as you go today, know that Danny's on the squeegee, Belafonte's checking your oil, and Beyonce' bends backwards over hoods to entertain and entrust you to the one who truly bears some scars - a big blight and Jiggy Lube tsar!"
cc: Ace of Spades, FreeGoodNews, Parkdale Pictures
Labels: geopolitics, Hugo Chavez, petrocurrency
