Saturday, September 30, 2006


Cirque de Critique

A new blog carnival's in town and taking your posts. Cirque de Critique is a bi-weekly gathering of your critiques on positions critical of your own. This is the big tent that takes all sides as long as those taken take-on others trying to take them.

Abe Linkum's holding the inaugural edition on Oct. 15. If you wish to enter and link your critiques for the 15th, then click here -

Blog Carnival submission form - cirque de critique

Abe's also looking for hosts of Cirque de Critique. Give Abe a line if you'd like to do this. Thanks.

Archived Editions: Overture, Act I

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Friday, September 29, 2006


Jock Cleveland Kids Ranked 'Gamey'

A rash of topical Staph infections has recently hit the turf and onto select Cleveland area high school athletes in five communities so far. The outbreak apparently has been brought by artificiality of playing field and the general ahygenic natures of Cleveland kids.

Staph, an increasingly antibiotically resistant bacteria due in good part to elite medical institutions like The Cleveland Clinic and characterized by its grape-like appearance while viewed with microscopy, has epidemiological sleuths and local health officials worried about this strain's potential wrath. They are attempting to stave it off by staffing high school locker rooms and principals' offices with information suggesting their kids need to 'hit the showers' more often and adults to clean the playroom by Hoovering its carpet. (A little football humor since both Hoover Vacuum Co. and The Football Hall of Fame reside in Canton, OH. - with most of Hoover moving to Canton, China.)

Meanwhile, tort trial hacks look to capitalize on Staph resistance to spread and serve suits to those same officials in a pro-biotic, pro class-action manner.

More cases are sure to blossom this week as officials attempt to blow the whistle on the festering foe while young sweat-swappers prove their grittiness in the trenches, some fetid, on this and every other fevered gridiron fest that infects Ohioans on fall Friday nights. The gram-positive is that most games are now in conference play which should confine Staph's spread to, say, plus six new teams infected - with no over/under given or state lines to cross.

Abe's Friday Night Pigskin Prediction! "Take the spread since rainy weather could leave fewer teams susceptible to the gram-negative S. epidermidis since it's hydrophobic and would look to flush away from its turf-fed home and into Lake Erie as a filmy residue of sorts."

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006


Resurrected Vanities

Twenty-six fine posts lead the hit parade this week at the newly resurrected Silfay Hraka's Carvival of the Vanities, where there's a 110 percent brouhaha brewing right behind as to what constitutes a vain attempt at linkage - with either commercial or personal linkaging as the crux.

Please join in the fun. If you would like to submit your own entry in future Carnival of the Vanities, you can do so right here.

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Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Abe Linkum at Pet's Garden New Blog Showcase

Abe's having teas at Pet's Garden this week in the Fall Carnival Showcase for new blogs. Check it out, especially American Inventor Spot where new inventions and ideas are presented and you can one-up your friends by telling them - "Hey, I knew about that gizmo four months ago."

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Monday, September 25, 2006


'Prince/Religion of Peace' Participants Pillage Again

Here's old news from a long three days ago. That's why it's just that one's so soon reminded since this piece also could be titled Coda to Variations on an Old Theme.

Christian rioting broke out in Indonesia after three Catholic militiamen were executed following attacks in 2000 including, and dependent on who's talking, one that tallied 70-200 killed by machete and gun somewhere within 1000 feet of a school.

A catalyst for the Christian conflagration came about by some sort of disagreement over who needed to be executed first - either a Muslim group of murderers or this Christian one that turned riotous. The Christians came first.

How peaceful it truly is among the Prince/Religion of Peace participants. Let holy sacrifices continue and the tribes out to scalp once more!

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Sunday, September 24, 2006


Ohio Libertarian Chickens Release New Video!

Derrik, Abe Linkum's first commentator, proved a worthy Ohio picket on post by demonstrating keen watchfulness in our approaching struggle to integrate a divided union. In response, he fired a shot at the adversary by passing vital information in a timely manner on key combinations flanking the mass. A commendation for Derrick.

His report may have been decisive, at least inertially. It details how the mass media would be forced to pay more attention to a third-party candidate if only a few percentage of Ohioans would cluck it up for that party. This is because a party shall automatically be included in debates if 5% vote for the party's candidate in the prior election. Ultimately, this would lead to a more viable and well-rounded political discourse since more would be involved.

In Ohio's gubernatorial race, the ability to throw some points to a third-party candidate has become quite easy because Ken "I'm Not a Dark Horse" Blackwell is going to pasture with what looks to be double digits, if not double decadigits. A few percentage of independent-minded and/or disgruntled Republican-minded folk who this time are with Ted Strickland should consider opting to include another next time by voting for Bill Peirce, Libertarian. This helps keep Fox out of the henhouse and improves discourse by breaking monopolies.

And heck, Strickland would still be left with a 15-17 point pad back to the paddock. By Jinks, Abe's consider'n it!

cc: Bill Peirce, Quinnipiac U.

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Friday, September 22, 2006


Rangel Pressed On Lame-Duck Cabinet Post

President Bush's poll numbers may have made a small gain this week due to Hugo Chavez' visit to the U.N., but it's time for the President to get real and enter strategy sessions to plan for his post-November lame-duckery as well as reward those who recently gave rescue efforts to his presidency. That is why George Bush should ask Charlie Rangel (D-NY) to sit on his upcoming lame-duck cabinet.

Not only should this appointment make his cabinet a more united and "not a divider" one, helping to create a scent of populism never before experienced in the Oval Office, but it will also take Charlie off the long waiting roll of Democratic House chairmanships that could spill out any week now.

Mr. President, think about it.

cc: Hit & Run, Redstate

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Ahmadinejad Claims European 'Soft Spot'

Attempting to assuage appeasing western nations before time is called again at the U.N. in favor of Iran's nuke network, and with European geopolitik foremost in his turban filler, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today disclosed that he has a small piece of presbyter that inhabits his heart.

In fact, it's Scottish presbyter. Per Mahmoud, "Europe needn't worry on Iran's increased capacity for range, accuracy and payload since distant blood ties still bind according to ancient tribal customs that we stridently adhere to today in Iran!"

It turns out that Ahmadinejad's Klan-like "blood" line is bound by something altogether different since 'Mahmoud' gaelically translates to 'MacMud' - or 'Son of Mud' if you must.

Dust to dust, or Goetterdaemmerung?

cc: Anti-Semitism, Atlas Shrugs, Blue Star Chronicles, Dr. Sanity, Regime Change Iran

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Thursday, September 21, 2006


Glover/Chavez Start Chain of Harlem 'Jiggy Lubes'

Capitalizing on his ability to redistribute petropesetas in any fashion he dictates, Pit Boss Hugo Chavez announced he's opening a chain of Jiggy Lube service stations in Harlem and around inner-city rings across America. Danny Glover will serve in a minority sharecrop, er, shareholder capacity at Jiggy Lube in addition to being Hugo's squeegee boy.

In order to grease the palms of Harlem's poor and downtrodden, Chavez was invited by Mr. Glover to hoodwink the gathered at Mt. Olivet Baptist by offering up some prayers to St. Schlumbert, Patron of Offshore Drilling and Tax Loopholes. Not hesitating, Chavez cavalierly praised away:

"Oh God, my wellspring of wealth floweth of you and to me before the be-seated poor folk herein. Let them know I'm here on missions of prosperity, for I am of yours that do the same.

Let them see that they can rely on Boss Hugo just as much as they can a man who wears The Star. May they know that not only can they gas and go at Jiggy Lube, but won't ever have to work in getting fueled and satisfied, for we will service them - up at Jiggy.

And folks, as you go today, know that Danny's on the squeegee, Belafonte's checking your oil, and Beyonce' bends backwards over hoods to entertain and entrust you to the one who truly bears some scars - a big blight and Jiggy Lube tsar!"

cc: Ace of Spades, FreeGoodNews, Parkdale Pictures

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Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Libertarian Chickens Get Cleveland Coop

Two rooters for Bill Peirce, Ohio's Libertarian gubernatorial candidate, took time out to make sure their feathers counted during today's "debate" between contenders Ken Blackwell(R) and Ted Strickland(D).

In the ensuing flap in front of WEWS-TV 5's studios, the chickens, who apparently represent 1/10 of all Peirce supporters, were deemed poultri, Ah say, pulchritudinous by passing pedestrians and motorists - but obstructions to local authorities.

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006


Abe Linkum - 'The Bloggers President'

It's a Jubilee! Abe Linkum has arisen and sees a house vivisected by minority left and rightists. He intends to do something about it here at Abe Linkum, a blog that promotes Abe's vision of union.

Lincoln's strength in keeping a Union was by playing it down the middle, with his save of the sandwiched Border States being the ultimate middle metaphor. He also staffed his cabinet full of different political colors, not just blue or red. A president of the people? Indeed.

When you hear a rightie, especially a religiositistic one, start using Lincoln in an attempt to bolster argument and patriotism, then go ahead and tell 'em "Abe Linkum said yer holler's ring is holler". If a leftie says anything at all about 'The Honest One', then be surprised and throw a party.

Let the middle majority have a Jubilee, sweeping aside extremes by linking at Abe Linkum!


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